What is your internal dialogue?

We recently kicked off our annual Turkey Challenge in the gym. This 6 week team competition gives our members to a chance to dial in their nutrition while receiving two more workouts per week in addition to goal training and value identification. For most of them, it will be an intense 6 weeks!

Along with determining each athletes values, one of our questions we ask is “What is your internal dialogue?”

This is a very powerful and insightful question!

The answers vary of course and while some of them are down right funny, they all offer a glimpse
into my athlete’s mind.

Coach and Navy Seal Marc Divine describes it as the “background of obviousness”. This is the little chatter we carry around with us from day to day that governs every one of our actions. It forms our habits, influences the decisions we make and ultimately affects our confidence and self esteem. Be wary of this little voice!!

Are you aware of this little voice? How often during the day do you take to reflect on exactly what you are thinking? Most of us just run on auto pilot, busily scurrying from one task to the next, worrying, planning, solving, operating along the way. I am not exempt.

So, it is not surprising that this question, “What is your internal dialogue?”, was left blank or not completely filled out by nearly all of my athletes. Actually, none of them answered the questions properly!

The correct answers are terribly revealing. If we were honest with ourselves, I’m sure some if not most of them are probably not very nice.

They can be slightly different for varying occasions, however, most of them will have a similar ring to it.

“I’m too slow.”

“I suck. I’ll never get better.”

“This is hard. I can’t do it.”

“I’m tired. I’ll do it later.”

“I’ll never lose any weight.”

“I’ll never have any money.”

“I have no will power.”

My personal favorite, “I don’t have any time!”

CrossFit and all of it’s different scenario’s for challenging us physically, brings out the best (or worst) in our internal dialogue rants. It’s the reason why breaking through physical barriers in the gym carry over to breaking through mental barriers. This can be said for any physical pursuit.

What’s true about ALL of these statements is the fact WE bring them to fruition, whether or not the statement itself is true or not.

For instance, I have to constantly battle and monitor my internal voice that says, “I don’t have the time.” For years, this was my story and it robbed me of the simple pleasures of life. I shamed myself for spending time with my daughter when I could have been working or “getting things done”, whatever that means. The result was a level of anxiety that wasn’t readily apparent until I slowed down to identify it.

While I have made huge improvements, it’s still a work in progress and most likely something I will always have to be conscience of.

This is no different than my own athletes who’s internal dialogue is worrying about money or eating the wrong foods.

If we really dug a little deeper, we would find a different internal dialogue, one that actually is at the helm of our internal ship.

That’s a scary thought! Our background of obviousness is powerful motivator in our lives that determines how we view ourselves in the world around us. It can be tremendously uplifting or depressing.

Whatever it is, positive or negative, it will ultimately shape you into the person you become, whether you know it or not.

One of my roles as a coach is help my athletes identify this internal dialogue and in the process, identify their values to make them the best possible athlete, mom, dad, husband, wife, person etc they can be! Identifying is just part of the process though. Working on breaking down negative beliefs and replacing them with positive ones are the key to fullfillment in life and ultimately determine success in our pursuits.

So, what are your internal dialogue’s? Take a moment to reflect on different scenarios or decisions you have made during the day. Can you recognize any that are consistent?

Take some time to reflect. I’d love to hear some comments on what your internal dialogue looks like.

Never Let It Rest,
Brendon

Get Out of the WIN/LOSS column

Reading this past week, I was inspired by a recent blog post by Zak Evanesh, a well known wrestling and S&C coach out of New Jersey. The video he posted was in regards to “mental fortitude” and how it will ultimately determine the success of an individual athlete.

The video is about 10min long and is worth watching. It certainly rang an old bell for me.

To summarize, champion wrestler Cary Kolat goes on to explain the necessary qualities it takes to be the best. It requires drive and the ability to get back up after being beaten.

However, his mental fortitude didn’t come from the common thought trait of “eating lightening and crapping thunder.”

Sure every excellent athlete must have that factor. But this is much easier.

His “mental fortitude” comes from a simple change in perspective.

This perspective shift puts power back in to the hands and heart of each of his athletes and enables them to get back on the mat and fight like a lion, no matter what their score record may indicate.

A simple change in how one perceives things can send an individual down the road to success or forever stumbling in pain and mediocrity.

Stop judging your worth on weather or not you win or lose.

I struggled with this as a young athlete for so many years. I would win and be at the top of the world. If I lost, I’d hate myself and carry it with me for weeks.

One thing was for sure, it made me a fierce competitor. I would literally “die” before I would let anyone beat me.

While the short term result of this frame of mind may portray a dominant athlete, the long term consequences are disastrous.

Inevitably, as time progressed and I stepped up to higher caliber competition, I judged myself by my Win/Loss column. This ultimately set me up for failure.

Rather than focusing on how much better I had become, I looked at the end result as the end all be all.

This did not forge me into a mentally tough athlete. In fact, it did the opposite. While I thought I was tough, my mental perspective blocked me from really competing at my best. How can you compete at your best if you’re constantly judging yourself? You can’t and I didn’t.

Before long, injuries took their toll and so did my narrow view of competing.

If drive and tenacity were never a problem for me, what could I have done differently to be successful in the long run? What could I have done to make myself “bullet proof” mentally”?

The answer is usually very simple and so it is here.

Next time you don’t live up to your own expectations, don’t judge yourself on the outcome. Judge yourself by all the other qualities that come with stepping up to meet a challenge. Have you improved? Are you 1 second faster or 1lb stronger than you were the year before? Without making excuses, choose your own perspective that gives you a foot hold to be better for next time.

Forget about the win/loss column.

Adjust your perspective and you can come out of any situation, bloodied and bruised, with a smile on your face, ready for more. Or in Casey’s team’s case, turn a losing team into a winning team, all through the power of perspective.

That to me is an unstoppable athlete.

Never Let It Rest,

Brendon